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travellor1805 61/M
San Antonio, Texas
Introduction
I have been known to leap very small buildings with a single ladder. I sometimes rearrange the stars and planets when I am bored and need entertainment. I once defended a small village in Tibet with a peashooter, a toothbrush and a paperclip, then cooked lunch for 1000 over a small campfire using only organic soy products and a free range muskrat. Later that afternoon I built a three room schoolhouse with my barehands, some mud, three small trees and some Yak butter. In the evening I delivered 10 babies and taught concentration exercises to the Dalai Lama for 3 hours.
I correct astro physics textbooks and work linear equations on the weekends for fun and profit. I counsel Bill Gates on financial managment techniques and business philosophies in my spare time during the week.
The Donald has never fired me and I have never been sent home by the bachelorette. I root for the fugly,nerdy guys on Average Joe and believe the public outrage and indignation would be hilarious if the gender roles were reversed on that show. I believe Survivor is for wimps and should be revamped to make it tougher. Say six months on an 8x10 barren rock isle in the extreme north Atlantic with nothing but a thong and a Swiss army knife with a broken blade. Lets see if Hatch runs around nek then. Can you say shrinkage?
I am in demand by governments both foreign and domestic for consultation on matters of concern in economic,social and military arenas. I had a brilliant career with a governmental agency so secret they don't even know who they are and which has no initials for its name. It is merely known as __________________ to the 4 people and 3 space aliens who know of its existence. I would love to tell you more about that exciting career but then I would be forced to eliminate you with extreme prejudice and neither of us wants that I am sure.
At any rate,my memory was wiped clean with an enormous electro magnet prior to my retirement and more mundane memories were inserted to provide a cover story for those missing years. Thus I am prevented from telling you those stories of espionage and intrigue by both the secrets act of 2035 and the simple expedient that I can't make them up because I have no imagination left.
I know where Elvis lives and where Jimmy Hoffa was buried. I have the codes and many of the pass keys but will not share them. I know who was behind the grassy knoll in Dallas and who really pulled the triggers. I know someone who can program their VCR and keep the clock from flashing in that annoying manner it does. I know where the ON switch is on my laptop and can hook up a new printer all by myself provided the manufacturer has a top notch 24 hour support center with an 800 number. I know where those deleted files go and why you can never retrieve the file you were just working on... But I'm not telling.
I have written many articles on the effects of genetic engineering and the Tse gnat of upper Siberia and believe it has grave consequences for life as we know it on earth and Mars. I know which sound stage the lunar landing in 1969 was filmed on. I am planning an expedition to Venus to see if that is indeed where women are from. I'm not interested in men so see no need to stop over on Mars. I am working on a theory that there are some men and women both who are from Uranus, they all seem to have distinct behavior patterns and we all know at least one I believe. In the interset of full disclosure, it has been rumored that I could also be one of these individuals. A rumor I categorically deny of course.
I once considered a career as a stand up comedian but felt that having to stand that long was uncalled for and degrading and got in the way of the art. Some of those sets can last up to an hour! I have the body of a god,(that would be Buddha),and have read the Kama Sutra as well as the memoirs of the Marquis de Sade. I also know Victoria's secret.
If you have read this far you may have the persistence it can take to put up with me on a daily basis or you just have no life and nothing to do. If, in the course of reading this, you found yourself chuckling you just might have the sort of sick and twisted sense of humor it will take to actually ENJOY dealing with me on a daily basis. If you read this and found it shocking, disgusting or outrageous.....what the hell are you still here for? Go on...get!!!!
If you read this and are brave enough or twisted enough to still be interested, by all means drop me a line and I will see if I can dissuade you and get you to come to your senses. Failing in that, I will see if you pass the picture test by being able to see my picture without screaming in fright.If you are still here after that I suppose I will be forced to take you out for dinner and drinks and witty conversation. There are never any sexual expectations on my part deriving from these excursions into the culinary life of the city. Heck, I wouldn't sleep with me either if I could figure out how to get out of it!
My Ideal Person Looking for a tall super model type to worship me and lavish me with attention. She should be extremely rich as well as one of the top ten most beautiful women in the world and she should believe that I can do no wrong, whatever I want should be her desire to provide.
Should the situation devlop that this woman does not come forward, I think that I would consider a lady with a pulse. I have always felt that a pulse is very important in developing a relationship, especially a long term relationship. It is often taken for granted but should not be. I would prefer this lady weighed at least a little bit less than your average elephant but more than you average broomstick. I prefer ladies with less hair on their chests than I have although the lawyers tell me that may have to be eliminated on the grounds of discrimination. Hopefully, my moustach will be more full and pronounced than the lady who replies, although the lawyers are divided on that one as well. Respondents should not frighten easily and must have a strong stomach. It would probably be best if she were legally or clinically blind. As has been stated earlier, a sick and twisted sense of humor is probably another good idea. Soooo looking forward to meeting you when I get out!
My Ideal Person Looking for a tall super model type to worship me and lavish me with attention. She should be extremely rich as well as one of the top ten most beautiful women in the world and she should believe that I can do no wrong, whatever I want should be her desire to provide.
Should the situation devlop that this woman does not come forward, I think that I would consider a lady with a pulse. I have always felt that a pulse is very important in developing a relationship, especially a long term relationship. It is often taken for granted but should not be. I would prefer this lady weighed at least a little bit less than your average elephant but more than you average broomstick. I prefer ladies with less hair on their chests than I have although the lawyers tell me that may have to be eliminated on the grounds of discrimination. Hopefully, my moustach will be more full and pronounced than the lady who replies, although the lawyers are divided on that one as well. Respondents should not frighten easily and must have a strong stomach. It would probably be best if she were legally or clinically blind. As has been stated earlier, a sick and twisted sense of humor is probably another good idea. Soooo looking forward to meeting you when I get out!
What location do you fantasize about for a sexual encounter?:
A remote wilderness spot
What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Toys (Vibrators/Dildos/etc.), Threesomes, Making Home "Movies", Participating in Erotic Photography, Voyeurism, Handcuffs/Shackles
What factors are most important to you when looking for a sexual partner?:
Sexual experience, Ability to be discreet, Sexual appetite, A little of each
Have you ever had cybersex?:
I've tried it, but it's just not the same.
View more of travellor1805's responses
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Information
Sexual Orientation:
Straight
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Looking For: Women |
Birthdate: | July 27, 1962 |
Relocate?: | Maybe/Yes |
Marital Status: | Divorced |
Height: | 5 ft 11 in / 180-182 cm |
Body Type: | A little extra padding |
Smoking: | I'm a non-smoker |
Drinking: | I'm a light/social drinker |
Drugs: | Prefer not to say |
Education: | Master's degree |
Occupation: | Business (Management) |
Race: | Caucasian |
Religion: | Protestant |
Have Children: | No |
Want Children: | No |
Male Endowment: | Average/Thick |
Circumcised: | Yes |
Speaks: | English, TheuniversallanguageofLove |