About me.... hummm... Well, I call myself athletic. I can run a 4 flat 40 yard dash with a cop behind me. I can swim for miles when the boat sinks. I can jump over a car if it's barreling towards me.
You got a boyfriend? Nevermind, I ain't even worried if you do have a boyfriend, I'll be your MAN friend!! I can put you in the mile high club and never leave the ground! I can call in a buck with a turkey call. I can run a 4.5 40 in waders. I can tie on a top water plug.... with my mouth. I once drank tequila from Queen Elizabeth's bellybutton . I make every bed memory foam because it will never forget I was there. My truck runs on stripper glitter and Chuck Norris tears and the tank is ALWAYS full. When the boat won't crank, we can just drive my truck up the river. I will take you mudding every time I see you wearing clean shoes. I will mess your hair up just before we walk in a nice place. In a crowded elevator, I will look at you every time as if you farted. So it's settled... I'll pick you up at 7 and I promise, we will get kicked out of wherever we go